Until We Meet Again, New York

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

On December 20, we said goodbye to New Jersey/New York City. Although we took several months of preparing ourselves for a long-distance move…again. Packing up and donating old things. Final breakfasts, lunches, and dinners with new and old friends. And of course, coffee dates. Lots of coffee dates.

Now that we’re in Chicago waiting for our movers to arrive during the holidays, I still don’t fully know what to say about our experiences in New York, New Jersey.

2.5 years went by fast.

Prof started a job in the non-profit sector away from his love of teaching. I embarked on a new career path studying photography. The older one journeyed through what would be called a transition into his pre-teen years. And the little man, well, he had to learn to navigate through all the turmoil of being the youngest and having the least say in all of this.

When I went back to school full-time, I struggled. Deeply. Motherhood had been my main job for over a decade. I invested my energies in raising and caring for the family and household; and when it came time to do something that was for me, I felt guilty. Deeply guilty. I could barely manage my own transition, and helping the kids navigate through their transitions while going back to school felt like an impossible task. Prof had to overcome his own experiences of leaving academia. The family started to wonder. And the question came up quite often, “God, seriously why?”

Comparing life to the good ole’ Michigan days was a common theme in our household. However, I didn’t remember Michigan the way my family did, especially our children. It took 11 years for God to break me down and remind me that He was in control. And the moment I was at peace with the idea of living in Michigan for the rest of our lives, He up and moved us to the outer parts of NYC.

Going Back Full-Time

Going back to school and going full-time was a hurdle. A huge hurdle. There was no imaginable way I could have done it without help. Thankfully, a friend’s mom was willing to watch my boys after school. She was a Godsend.

Juggling meals, grocery shopping, after-school activity scheduling, volunteering, and family life was my MO. But try to make artwork based on your family life stunk. Big time. Al least that’s what I was asked to do for class assignments since we were tasked to photograph our personal life. I suppose that’s what you do when you’re the only parent in the program that year. I didn’t want to photograph my family. There was too much going on, and it was too personal. Photographing when your family’s pain didn’t feel good as a mother.

Then there came a moment, a breakthrough in my work. I could photograph in a way that told a story without having to feel like a bad mom. Although I have to admit that almost all of those photos are still in my archive. I’m not quite ready to share that with the world.

Blogging Halt

Of course, full-time school and motherhood took priority, which meant that I had to let go of the low hanging fruit – blogging among other things. While absent in written form of the places we experienced, you noticed that I managed to squeeze in a few moments on Facebook and Instagram when I could.

I will try to write up a long laundry list of things we experienced in NY/NJ (mostly NYC) in the next post. Because to be honest, we did some AMAZING things. In reality, you can’t see everything in NYC. The art galleries and museums exhibit artists’ work every few months. You can try every restaurant in the city for an entire year and still have not felt like you have experienced the food scene. There are so many shows on Broadway and theater productions. You can check out numerous locations in NYC to get an aerial or landscape view. The possibilities are endless.

Personal Moments

1. Little man lost four teeth creating a huge chasm. This one I had to share. I mean come on! Losing four front teeth in a semester is quite an accomplishment or just the cutest thing to see in a little first grader.

2. The kids grew in ways unimaginable. The older one deeply loves soccer to his bones. It’s in his DNA. No matter how much I try to push music as a passion, he will play soccer, practice soccer, and watch soccer until his last breath. He did grow to appreciate playing classical guitar, which is all thanks to his teacher. In fact, the music teachers are unlike anything I’ve seen, but of course, these fine musicians and teachers hail from the best music schools in the city. Which is why the little one loved the violin so much. Who knew that he would love music this much? And did I mention how good it’s been for little man to do tae kwon do? His masters have been nothing but kind and challenging – pushing them to be honest, persevering, and disciplined.

3. Prof reentered academia. This is probably the single most important family moment. If you know anything about academia, it’s hard to reenter once you’ve left. But this move to the non-profit sector was an important move for his career, and I see that it was Divine Providence. Hence, which is why we are on this new adventure in Chicago.

4. Me? Well, thankfully, I am working part-time and juggling family life on a less intense schedule. I get to volunteer again, work, and make art (when I can) all while being a wife and mother.

What’s Next?

I wish I could tell you for certain. But nothing in life is certain. You gotta go with the flow or have faith that the next step is the right one.

I’ll try to be better about blogging about Chicago and other experiences. (I still have our Europe travel posts in draft form.) As always, I appreciate the time you take to read.